


fall (i will catch you)

by Setkia



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Canon Trans Character, Character Study, Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, F/M, Flashbacks, Insecure Barry, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, THESE TWO NEED TO TALK, Vaguely Inspired by The Vow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:54:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21994072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Setkia/pseuds/Setkia
Summary: Fact 1: Lup is here.Fact 2: Lup does not love him.It has been years since he was last Barold. It’s always Barry, Bear, darling, sweetheart. Never Barold. Which can only mean that something in her memory has been disturbed.Which means he has to deal with the last, most important fact:Fact 3: Lup will never love him again.Lup has her body, but not her memories of Barry. Seems he's back to pining again.
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans/Lup
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You gotta tell me what you’ve been doing since I last saw you!”
> 
>  _Looking for you_.
> 
> “Nothing much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly? It's CRIMINAL how few Blupjeans stories there are. Like, I know Taakitz is great, and I ship the fuck out of them, but Barold needs more love and Lup is fucking baller. There needs to be more stories where THEY are the focus. And so this idea came to me. It's a side project, but I hope you guys are into it. The rating may change a bit. I don't really have an outline for this, and I haven't re-listened to the Stolen Century or the Day of Story and Song because I'm too emotional, but I'm just kinda assuming they live in a very modern world, and that Barry and Lup just kinda live together after they save the world.

The moment their friends finally leave, Lup turns to Barry and lets out a whistle.

“I am _beat_ Barold. Make me some pasta, will you?”

_Ah._

He’s woken up.

Moving on autopilot, Barry makes spaghetti, thankful that he knows a thing or two about out of body experiences. Lup is too busy fixing her hair to check on him as he prepares the meal just as she likes it and he’s grateful because he needs that time to compose himself.

As he stirs the pasta, he takes all the pieces of himself that love Lup and shove them into a box. It won’t close properly and his heart fights him the whole time. It’s been years since he’s had to hide it. Years since it’s become his identity. Since he became Barry J (desperately in love with Lup) Bluejeans. But he packs it all away as best as he can. It’s a temporary solution that won’t last for long, but until he can come up with a more permanent fix, it’ll have to do. He stares at his reflection in the steel door until he’s confident he can hide his emotions and then calls Lup into the kitchen.

“Time to eat!”

Lup skips into the kitchen in that adorable way she does, and flips her braid over her shoulder. The moment her mouth closes around her fork, she lets out a moan that makes Barry shiver. “Fucking _stellar_ , Barold!”

“Glad you think so,” he says, moving to sit across from her.

It’s mostly silent between the two of them, until Barry breaks it.

“It’s great to see you, Lup.”

“Obviously.”

Barry laughs lightly.

“Hey,” she says softly, reaching across the table. Their hands touch ever so slightly. He bites the inside of his cheek so he doesn’t try to intertwine their fingers. “It’s good to see you too, Barry.”

The box shakes.

He coughs into his fist and collects his dishes. “Want me to get your plate too?”

“Oh, come on!” Lup whines. “We can do that later! Right now is catch up time! You gotta tell me what you’ve been doing since I last saw you!”

 _Looking for you_.

“Nothing much.”

Lup rolls her eyes. “You’re full of _shit_. I know you too well for that. Tomorrow’s a Twin Day, but tonight? Tonight it’s Nerd Night.”

“Nerd Night, huh? I like the sound of that.”

“Course you would, _nerd_.”

“Guilty as charged.”

Lup collapses onto the couch and spreads her body out. Barry doubts she realizes she’s doing it. “Remember, elves don’t need to sleep. I can Trance myself some other time. Tell me the sitch of the last decade! Oh, and you gotta show me your magic. How rad have your spell casting abilities gotten?”

Barry laughs. “Not that rad.”

“Always so modest, Barold.”

“You know that’s not actually my name, right?”

Lup places a manicured hand to her chest. “Slander! Why, Mr. Bluejeans, how long have you been lying to me about your name? Hmm?”

Barry rubs his neck. “Er, pretty long. That’s a story for another day.” He doesn’t have the energy, or the willpower to explain to her just what the Starblaster meant to him, not after everything he’s been through today. It’s been emotionally draining, and continues to be so even after the world has been saved.

“Eh, I dunno …” Lup flips onto her stomach, placing her head in her hands. “I could interrogate you. Get you to squeal and spill all your secrets.”

“I have no doubt you could, but remember, I am still human. I get tired easily. It won’t be fun if I don’t even fight to keep those things close to my chest.”

“You’re right.” Lup hums softly and flips onto her back. “Promise you’ll tell me sometime, though?”

Pan, Barry is _weak_.

“Of course.”

“Pinky swear!” she says, holding up a hand.

Barry links their pinkies together, trying not to shake, trying not to pull her closer. “Pinky swear it.” He sounds a little too breathless, a little too worked up over something as simple as the joining of two fingers.

Lup doesn’t notice.

They talk about what Barry has been up to, tells some of the stories about what the trio have been doing since she’s been in the Umbrastaff.

(“You know, they call themselves Tres Horny Boys now.”

“There’s no way I’m not giving Ko shit for that!”)

Eventually, she does get tired. Her weary eyes are trying hard not to close, but he can tell she needs sleep, or at least a long trance or meditation session.

“Hey,” he says softly, “you’re safe here.”

Lup rolls her eyes, but she’s settled into her position in the couch rather firmly, and it doesn’t have the normal energy it usually does. “It’s not about safety.”

It is, and they both know it.

“I’m not gonna turn off the light.”

“I’m not scared of the dark.”

She is. Barry doesn’t mention it.

Eventually, she lets go and falls asleep.

The moment he’s sure she won’t wake up, Barry falls apart.

 _Lup is here. Lup is alive_. She’s real, and she’s lying on his couch, chest rising and falling lightly with each inhale. Finding his family after that century had been hard, made slightly easier once he saw Taako, Magnus and Merle reunited with Davenport and Lucretia, but something had been missing.

 _She_ had been missing.

Now everything is right. The world is balanced again. He can breathe easily once more, feel completely comfortable with himself and he can close his eyes without fearing the darkness behind his eyelids.

He takes a moment to revel in the fact that Lup is alive and breathing and in the next room. He lets it fill his heart, lets the box break apart inside of him and he exhales with a weight lifted off his shoulders, knowing that she is there, that he can feel her presence. There’s a calm in his mind that has never existed before.

His heart wants to spend the next century overjoyed by this, but he can’t let that distract him. His brain fights with his heart, and so he compartmentalizes the love he feels as best as he can enough to focus on the facts.

Fact 1: Lup is here.

Fact 2: Lup does not love him.

It has been _years_ since he was last Barold. It’s always Barry, Bear, darling, sweetheart. Never Barold. Which can only mean that something in her memory has been disturbed. A more sinister part of his brain tells him she’s come to her senses, but he pushes it away.

She did love him, back then. He knows it, in his very soul. She was as in love with him as he was with her. They got fucking _married_ before becoming liches, for crying out loud, of course she loved him. Lup would never settle for anything less than perfect, and so, to her, he must’ve been perfect at some point. She had loved him.

Which means he has to deal with the last, most important fact:

Fact 3: Lup will never love him again.

Their relationship was built upon a series of variables that were given to them thanks to the Starblaster. The Light of Creation and the Hunger, the running, the thousands of second chances lead to them becoming a couple. It took her nearly half a century to develop those feelings for him, and it was only possible given their circumstances.

Barry had a crush on her by the time she dropped that mic and fell in love some time between the sixth and tenth cycle. He is _still_ in love with her and he will continue to be for the rest of eternity.

He enters the living room and sees Lup, beautiful, lovely, untouchable Lup.

Barry J Bluejeans gives himself one night to love Lup as openly, as selfishly,as he can.

In the morning, he buries that box in his mind with a lock and a danger label on it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Where’s Barry?”
> 
> “Oh, that ol’ nerd? Left him back at home. You know you’re my number one dude, m’dude.”
> 
> Something’s wrong.

In any other circumstance, Taako would be delighted to see Lup at his front door. A part of him _is_ , but a larger part of him wonders why the fuck his sis is bouncing on her heels, insisting he owes her Twin Time.

“Where’s Barry?”

“Oh, that ol’ nerd? Left him back at home. You know you’re my number one dude, m’dude.”

Something’s wrong.

Taako and Lup don’t have special, twin mind-reading powers, but they may as well. They’re attached at the hip in any way other than physically. Or rather, they _were_. Even before Taako forgot Lup’s existence (he’s still beating himself over that, is not sure if he’ll ever _stop_ beating himself up over it. How could he forget his own _sister_?), this separation had already started.

Taako _used_ to be Lup’s number one dude. And then Barry happened.

Taako doesn’t hate Barry for what he did to his sister. She’s _better_ because of it. Lup came into her own when she shed her old name their parents had saddled her with, but it’s as if her true self was in hibernation until she started working in the Starblaster lab with old Barold. The old man _transformed_ Lup into someone better, smarter, kinder, and he has to thank him for it. He _did_ thank him, at some point, he’s pretty sure, but it always bears repeating.

They never grew farther apart, not intentionally. Even once the two of them got their heads out of their asses and got together, Lup set aside a day every week to be Twin Time. She never let Taako feel like he was being replaced, or that she loved him any less. At least, not intentionally. For all the loneliness he experienced when she was on dates with Barry, he’s proud of the woman she’s become thanks to Barry.

The point is, Bluejeans may have turned his sis into a nerd, (he wouldn’t let any other nerd turn Lup into a nerd, and frankly, she’s a baller nerd, the same way she’s a baller sister. Crushing it, all the time) but he’s also turned her into a bit of a sappy romantic.

He expected Lup to be occupied with her beau for at least a month before she came around insisting on Twin Time. He had plans for that month, to get his shit together. To discover himself.

To get over the strange codependency the twins have, that Taako never really got over. He wants some Taako Time, to figure out who he is _without_ Lup. The decade or so that he spent without her is evidence that the world does not end without his sister by his side (well, sort of. It’s complicated. The Hunger notwithstanding), and now he needs proof that even knowing about her, Taako can still be Taako without Lup. So they can be Taako and Lup and not TaakoandLup.

“Hold on, just a mo!”

The wizard closes the door behind him and calls Barry on his Stone of Far Speech. “Yo, Barold. LuLu’s over here asking for Twin Time. No offence my man, but the fuck?”

“Oh, she got there safely?”

Barry doesn’t sound surprised. Why doesn’t Barry sound surprised.

“Barry? What’s wrong with my sister?”

There’s silence on the other end.

“Barold, do you want me to get my dice? Cause I will. I’ll roll another eleven.”

“She …” Barry takes a deep breath. “She doesn’t remember me.”

Taako frowns. “What?”

“She doesn’t remember … _us_. Like, our relationship. What it was, at the end of the century. The whole … you know—”

“I don’t need to know what you and my sis got up to, I got it.” Taako is confused. He remembers the entire century, or at least, as best as he can, given how the years started to blur together. There’s no static, not like there was when the Chalice went through his memories. “What happened? Why doesn’t she know?”

“I don’t … I’m not sure.”

That’s not the end of it, Taako knows. He’s gotten very good at reading Barry J. Bluejeans.

“You don’t want me to tell her about you guys, do you?”

A deep breath.

“No, Taako. I don’t.”

Taako is ready to throw his hands up in the air. These fucking idiots. It took them _years_ , literal _decades_ , to get their shit together, and now the damn necromancer wants to throw that all away? “I thought you loved her.”

“I do.” Barry lets out a laugh. It has no humour in it. “Taako, you have _no idea_ , of _course_ I love Lup.”

Taako is quiet. Sometimes his brother-from-another-mother needs time to think. Taako gives it to him.

“I got fifty years. That’s fifty more than I thought I would. I’m not going to tell her, and neither are you. _No one_ is going to tell her.”

“But why not?”

“I don’t … she doesn’t feel that way. About me. Not anymore. And I don’t want to … I’m not going to hold her to words she said that she can’t remember.”

Taako frowns. “But—”

“But nothing Taako. You may not understand why I’m doing this, but I do. I’m asking you as a friend, please do not tell her.”

Taako is not a dumb wizard. Despite the way he presents himself, he is _not_ stupid. Neither is Barry, or at least, Taako didn’t _think_ the man was stupid. But if Barry doesn’t want Lup to know, it’s not Taako’s place to go behind his back.

“Okay. I don’t understand your reasons, and I think you’re talking bullshit, but fine, Bluejeans. I won’t tell her. But if she asks, I’m not gonna keep it from her.”

“I don’t expect you to. Thank you, Taako.”

“Yeah, you owe me, Barold. So much.”

“I know.”

They hang up.

Taako runs his fingers through his hair.

After saving the universe, you’d think you’d catch a break.

The wizard steals himself and opens his door to see Lup juggling a small fire ball out of boredom.

“Twin Time?” she asks.

“Twin Time,” he says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I tried to explain Taako's brain, but I feel I failed. So essentially it's this: Taako never got like the independence journey that Lup got when she got involved with Barry, because she got another meaningful relationship and learned to stand on her own, thanks to Barry. Taako never got that, so he needs proof for himself that he's able to be himself without Lup, so he initially wants to create some space between them so he can discover who he is without Lup defining him,


End file.
